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Why we Fear Failure and How to Fix It
Why we Fear Failure and How to Fix It
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At the core of fear, is a feeling of uncertainty around what might happen. There is risk in what we don’t or can’t know, but calculated risk taking is often seen as positive. Fear exists to be a strong inhibitor for anything that may be a threat. However, our fear is only one perspective on the future, often shrouded in what the worst-case scenario may be.
Where Does Fear Come From?
Fear manifests differently from person to person, incorporating specific experiences, memories or values that may feel threatened. The common factor is that Fear appears when our safety is at risk, whether it’s our physical, psychological or social safety. And the bigger we perceive that threat, the bigger our fear reaction is.
Some common reasons for fear in the workplace may include:
- Cultural and societal expectations
- Past experiences of failure or rejection
- Potential conflict or confrontation
- Perfectionism
- Threat of career implications
Whilst the stakes are lower than what we may generally associate with fear, these are all still very emotionally charged topics, so they produce strong responses in our brain. The first step here is to recognise these fears and put them into words even if it makes you feel vulnerable. Once you’ve defined it, you can start to tackle it.
Fear and it’s Behaviours
Fear itself isn’t what limits us, rather it’s the behaviours associated with fear which can stop us from achieving our goals. The five major behaviours are:
- Avoidance
- Procrastination
- Defensiveness
- Aggression
- Paralysis
Reading through the list, you can begin to thwart fear by being honest with yourself and understanding what affects you most. Through this, you’ll tend to see the fear response coming and be able to enact a greater sense of control around your behaviours
The Difference Between Fear and Risk
It's important to be self-aware of when fear is governing your behaviour in ways you don’t like. Distinguishing between fear driven behaviours and calculated risk-taking is challenging as they tend to overlap.
However, there are a few key differences to look for:
Motivation
- When taking a calculated risk, motivation is often driven by a desire to achieve a particular goal or outcome.
- Fear driven behaviours are motivated by a desire to avoid negative outcomes like failure or criticism.
The Decision-Making Process
- When taking a risk, you’ll start a decision-making process, weighing up the potential risks and benefits.
- In contrast, fear-driven behaviours involve impulsive or reactive decision-making, based on avoiding discomfort or anxiety.
- Having the chance to think is what separates a considered response from an automatic response.
Comfort Zone
- For a risk, you may step out of your comfort zone but still within the realm of feasibility.
- When driven by fear, you look to avoid anything that can feel remotely uncertain.
- This gets easier, as each time you step out of your comfort zone, it comes with you a little bit.
Reflection
- After making a decision, you may reflect on your experience and what you learned from it.
- If your decision is followed by feeling of regret or self-doubt, it’s likely fear had a part to play.
- Even if you fail, there should still be a sense of growth or experience.
By understanding how fear is driving out behaviours in ways that limit us, we begin to build awareness and the capacity to make positive change.
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